Monday, July 26, 2004
While we were driving to CFC this morning for class, I noticed my wiper blade was not wiping in the middle very well (you know that spot right where you look out). So I turned the speed up and "bang," they hit each other and warped right in front of my view. I thought that was pretty funny and laughed until I pulled over and tried to put them back. They were wedged pretty tightly. I got them unhooked but they didn't go down. I pushed them down manually and then they wouldn't go up. Thank God it wasn't pouring, just misting a little. I continuted to church and Jason got me an appointment at Southern Indiana Tire. Apparently windshield wipers have their own transmission and mine broke in two places. Anything called a transmission is expensive. It would take about an hour to an hour and a half. So the children and I walked to Los Bravos. I should have taken the stroller. That boy is heavy. Also, after the waitress brought the salsa, Luke grabbed it and dumped it all over himself, including his mouth. He swallowed it and then hissed like a cat, but he never cried. We walked back after the meal and the car was done. Only $205 for wipers. Who's laughing now? Not I.
Posted by: Laura @ 7/26/2004 01:23:00 PM
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Wednesday, July 21, 2004
Okay, I'll just be honest. I told myself I wouldn't tell anybody, but it's driving me crazy. Lately I have felt like writing, not just on this blog, but for magazines. It sounds absurd because I am a nobody, but I still feel like writing. I'm not sure how to explain it. I have been studying how to become a freelance journalist and frankly it's a bit overwhelming. There's so much competition. People have so much experience and many have journalism degrees. (I have an education degree, but that counts for squat.) Also, a big also, nobody wants to publish you unless you are already published.
So the questions and voices in my head are asking, "Am I being selfish with my time or selfishly ambitious for money or attention? Why do I want to do this? Shouldn't being a mom be enough? What do you know about anything? You're writing skills aren't good enough and you have no experience. (Okay that last one isn't a question.) How are you ever going to get started? Will your friends think you are arrogant or crazy?" So then I look to my other shoulder and wonder, "Who is giving me this desire? Is it just me and the big plans I've made for myself? Is God calling me to do this (which is a misused excuse for doing whatever you want when you get an urge)? Why do I feel so discouraged every time I get started on something? Is God telling me He is not in this? Is it me and my own self-loathing? Is it Satan trying to keep me from doing what God has called me to do?" Since I've been considering doing this, I have had a lot of turmoil. I've been very distracted lately. I'm scared that I'm going to fail. I'm scared that it isn't God's will. (I've been wrong before...many times.) I'm scared that my friends and family won't take me seriously. (Jesus said a prophet isn't accepted in his hometown and I understand what He means.) But, it sure would be wonderful to make a little money and have some creative outlet. I feel bad saying it, but I can't stand just being a mom 100% of the time. I want something else to balance it out. Is that wrong or will this potential balance make me a better mom? In theory, it's the best of both worlds. A satisfying job where I can stay home with my kids and have complete flexibility and freedom to work as much and whenever I want. It's very alluring, another reason I'm so wary of jumping in headfirst. If I do this, I want to stick to topics I care about, those being motherhood and marriage and possible a few miscellaneous topics. Also, if I do this, I will need anecdotes, quotes and ideas from real people. I can't make it up, as tempting as that is. So I may call on friends for their input...starting now - 1) What was your favorite/most helpful marriage book and why? (Mine right now is His Needs, Her Needs by Willard Harley but I'm probably forgetting some because it's been a while since I read any. I don't really need any help. (Uh yeah right.) 2) Husbands: What do you wish your wife understood about you? Wives: What do you wish your husband understood about you? 3) What kinds of articles do you enjoy reading and what issues would you like to see addressed? (Nothing political. My hatred of politics is bound to show if I wrote about it.) Thanks for letting me ramble on. It's good to get it off my chest. Please don't think less of me if all this amounts to nothing. I have a habit of getting really into something only to back out when I get scared. Posted by: Laura @ 7/21/2004 12:52:00 PM
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Sunday, July 11, 2004
I've managed to keep running in the mornings, at least three times a week. I really prefer it that way. I'll try to keep it up.
Jason and I ran in the Evansville Otter's Stadium 5K. Don't let the name fool you. It sucked. It was so unorganized. We did get T-shirts and free tickets to the Otter's game though. The registration table was unprofessional, as if I'm an expert. But our numbers were written with a marker on little cards and we didn't have individual numbers. We were numbered in groups based on our age and sex. They staggered the beginning to give certan people handicaps. It started at with group 1 for really old people. I was a 28 and Jason was a 34 so I waited about 6 minutes after the start of the race before I could leave and Jason waited about 8 minutes. It's a good thing we kept our times ourselves. They certainly weren't paying attention. They had one map and it was difficult to follow. Along the route, they didn't tell us where the miles were. There was no way to find our pace. I took off too fast and ended up wanting to quit after a half mile. (I guess it was a half mile.) I desperately wanted to walk the whole way but I just went slowly for awhile waiting to get a second wind that never came. I felt like I was running so slowly yet I was dying. The crazy runners that starting behind me were flying past me. It was discouraging. I just refused to walk. And man it was hot. The finish line was on the field just before the game started. That was kind of cool. But I was mad when I finished and found out they had nothing to give us like apples, bananas, hot dogs, anything. They had water bottles, and not very many of them. The only thing good about the race was that I managed to finish in 27:28. That blew away my last time (28:51), which is exactly what I wanted to accomplish. I was really surprised. We left the game early (and a big thanks to my parents for coming to watch the kids while we ran). We then ordered pizzas to reward ourselves. Posted by: Laura @ 7/11/2004 01:29:00 PM
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