Do you ever notice yourself looking so forward to how you want things to be that you miss out on enjoying the way things are?

Some of my examples - Looking forward to...

1. The weekend
2. Having a bigger house
3. Luke being able to do more fun stuff
4. Living in a different area of the country
5. Having a nice vehicle
6. Not breastfeeding

The list goes on. I'm missing out on the joy of contentment.

On the advice of Jason, Shawn, and Angela I switched to Hal Higdon's 5K plan. I wasn't giving myself enough rest on the 5 day thing and mentally I was done. So changing to a 3 day a week plan helped in both areas. I started in the middle of week 7 (counting down). I ran 1.5 miles today which is less than I've been running but I was able to run faster and when the end was in sight I was able to go even faster. On my old plan, I went a certain length of time no matter how far I went so there was no motivation to push myself. This is all around better for me. And I don't have to run on Walmart day! Thanks to those three for taking an interest in my running.

Well, today is the first day I couldn't run. I think it was mostly mental, but I just couldn't make myself do it. So I walked instead. What a wuss! Who's dumb idea was it to run 5 days a week?

I'm painting my bathroom today. It's a dark burgandy color. I've been planning on doing this for a long time. I got all the supplies a few weeks ago. I've just been waiting until the day seemed right. When I woKe up this morning, it seemed right. I just have to keep taking breaks to play with Abby or feed Luke, but it will be done today. Since it's such a dark color, I will actually go over it a third time. That's what I'm waiting on as I type this. I think it looks great already and it will look even better after I get all the white stuff back in the room. Also, I love hearing Abby say "burgandy" and tell me how great it looks. I need a snack.

Pastor David once said to look for the voice of God in every criticism. So I want to thank Todd for getting me to think about what worldy pleasures are. I started out by wondering if everything that wasn't godly was therefore worldy. That meant I drive a worldy car, watch worldy baseball, wear worldy clothes, live in a worldly house, watch worldy movies (because they aren't in the Bible) and so on. And I read this article and asked myself if I really was being a friend of this world. Well, I certainly am a friend of baseball (for example). In fact, I love it. So this makes me an enemy of God. How can this be? I like this stuff but I don't feel like I'm sinning and I don't feel convicted to give these things up. In fact I thank God for all of this "worldly" stuff He has given me to feel pleasure. So what's the deal and why do people tell me I'm wrong for having stuff in my life, like worldy music, movies, books, etc, that they keep out of their lives?

1 John 2:15 "Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him." Wow, it says it right there. I can't love anything in this world. Those evil-pointer-outers are right. Or are they?

1 John 2:16 (the following verse, what I like to call a bit of context) "For everything in the world - the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does - comes not from the Father but from the world."

It's not the men, the eyes, what I have or what I do that I am to shun and call evil. Look again. It's the cravings, the lust, the boasting. These are attitudes. Generally speaking, this is "the world" (the realm of sin) that God was talking about. Sin is on the inside. Loving and embracing these attitudes is what makes me an enemy of God. Is secular music sin? Is baseball sin? Are my clothes sin? No, You can't tell someone they shouldn't listen to secular music, watch television, wear certain clothes. You have to look deeper (and if you really care about the person, you will) to see the sin on the inside if you want to change their life. It's not the music, it's the anger it provokes (for example). It's not the television, it's the lust. (again, random example). It's not the clothes, its the immodesty. And so on... One important thing to keep in mind: these things I've mentioned don't necessarily imply sin. I like some secular music and it doesn't cause me to sin. Abby likes Dora and Blues Clues on tv. I could go on and on, but I shouldn't. My point: Sin is on the inside. Look there if you want to find it.

My legs are sore. But I'm doing it. Only my third day and I ran 2 miles relatively easily.

I had my 6-week postpartum checkup on Friday. Now I can physically do anything I want. So this weekend, I chose to do very little. However, today I started my 6 week treadmill running program. I skipped the walk/run part because I was sick of walking. Jumped in full-speed...well, sort of. I was supposed to run 30 minutes at an easy pace. I ran the easy pace but stopped at 20. I justified it in my mind as this: I haven't ran since last April. I think it would be prudent to ease into this the first few days. It wasn't bad. I did have to wear 3 sports bras, though. Thanks to Angela for that tip. One day the Collins', Jason, and I will run a 5K together, or at least at the same time. I want a trophy but I'll settle for a T-shirt and memories.

Hey, remember when I said we got the hospital bill? I was wrong. That was just the anesthesiologist's bill. That's insane. We still have the hospital bill and the obstetrician's bill coming. Wasn't counting on all that. Wow. I'm just stunned and I don't even know what the hospital bill is going to be. I can't believe people choose to have C-sections. They must not know.

Oh, but I do enjoy scrapbooking so if any of my friends would like to start or join me, let me know. I'll share my stuff. I'm lonely.

I just had a Partlite show. A big thanks to Beth, of course, and to all the fine ladies who ordered something. It was just over $400 so I got $200 in free products, 2 half priced items, and a $25 gift for the 2 women who booked a show. It went much better than I had planned. No thanks to Jamie, who who ordered from somebody else. Now I need to host a Creative Memories party and get some more free stuff. Nevermind, that sounds like work.

For some reason, my mental health is directly proportional to my interest in home repair. Anybody else like that? Anyway, while I was pregnant I was a borderline basketcase. Since having Luke, my desire to work on things around the house has been growing steadily. I know my chemicals are pretty much in balance now because I went to Lowe's (my favorite store) this morning and I wanted to buy everything whether I could use it or not. I just want to have a project going all the time. Right now I'm working on replacing all of the old outlets and light switches. Of course, I didn't buy enough of the light switches and I bought too many of the outlets so I'll be making a return trip. But I think anybody who has worked on a project at home has to make a few unplanned trips back to Lowe's. Am I right?! Next I will be touching up the trim paint and replacing all of the rusted hinges with new ones. The hinges I wanted were almost $9 a door. That's crazy. I went with the cheap ones for under $2 a door. They hold the same weight, they just have a different finish. Anything's better than rust and paint smears. After that I plan to repaint the whole bathroom, but that has many more details and a few more trips to Lowe's, not that I mind. I could live there quite happily for some time.

I finally have a present for Jason, only 6 days after our anniversary.

We got the hospital bill for Luke. I have to go sell some of Jason's stuff now. I'd sell mine but none of it's worth anything. Well, I do I have that extra kidney...

I'm sorry my last post was such a cliffhanger. I did get to take a shower.

Wow, would you look at this! I've got a new blog image, all thanks to Jason Burton. I like it. Thanks Jason. Now I need to come up with junk to put on the side. Any suggestions?

Neither of the children took naps this afternoon. Good times. I just want to take shower.

Hey.

It's a beautiful, sunny 18 degrees day outside. I hate winter. I like to open the curtains and pretend it's warm outside. I don't plan on leaving the house more than grabbing the mail for the rest of the week. See everybody in March.

Oh yeah, it's my anniversary. What does that even mean? I love being married, but my wedding day was nothing to commemorate. I guess it's good to keep track...this is number 5. We will probably be dining on pigs in a blanket, since we forgot to take them to the New Years party. Happy Anniversary, Jason!

I've been playing a lot of DDR Max 2. It's more fun now that I'm not pregnant. I'm actually getting better rather than worse. It's far better than aerobics. But, I keep getting the songs stuck in my head with no actual lyrics to sing.

Man, my blog is ugly.